More Like Watching Paint Dry with Dragons

The fifth book in the acclaimed series A Song of Ice and Fire, A Dance with Dragons hit the shelves in July, amid the buzz created by the HBO series Game of Thrones.  The earlier books in the series were selling like never before, and after nearly six years of waiting since the last installment (A Feast for Crows), George R.R. Martin fans were clamoring for this volume.

Unfortunately, in this case, the wait was not worth it.  Book 5 is slow, nearly devoid of action, and the few exciting moments basically end as cliffhangers.  Pro tip: cliffhangers are good for weekly TV series, tolerable for season-ending episodes or movies with sequels coming within the year, but just awful for a book series where we cannot honestly expect the next volume to appear anytime soon.

Of course I will read the next book, but I already have a sinking feeling that this series is going the way of the Wheel of Time, and that would be a very bad turn for what has otherwise been a classic fantasy series. 

Verdict: I would give this book a very mediocre 2 out of 5 boomsticks.*

*It occurs to me that I have not introduced my new rating system.  For reference, on a scale of 0 to 5 boomsticks, the restaurant Vetri would get a 5, and the film Army of Darkness would get a 7.

Cthulhu for Kids

Just found this link (via Akratic Wizardry):

The author / artist is up to page 23 of his Dr. Seuss-inspired tale of Cthulhu.

K is for Kvothe

I was going to milk this for two A to Z posts, but I was struggling to find a good K idea, and a recent Penny Arcade comic (warning: minor spoilers) inspired me.

Who is Kvothe?  Kvothe is the main character of The Kingkiller Chronicle, a fantasy trilogy-in-progress by Patrick Rothfuss.  He debuted with The Name of the Wind in 2007 and recently published A Wise Man's Fear (out just a month ago).  The basic premise of the trilogy is that Kvothe, an infamous, near-legendary figure, has retired to a sleepy town and adopted the persona of Kote the innkeeper.  He is accidentally found by a scribe named Chronicler, who convinces Kvothe to tell his story for posterity.  The Name of the Wind is subtitled The Kingkiller Chronicle: Day One, just as A Wise Man's Fear is subtitled The Kingkiller Chronicle: Day Two, because Kvothe insists that the telling of his story will take three days (hence a trilogy).  And while Kvothe's story dominates the two novels, there are also dark and important events transpiring in the present, which no doubt will become increasingly more important as Kvothe's story draws to a close.

What do I like so much about these books?  Well, I enjoy the story-within-a-story format, though that is by no means novel.  I like Kvothe as a character.  I am impressed by Rothfuss's storytelling prowess, and most of all I really dig his treatment of magic.  See, Kvothe is known by many epithets, such as Kvothe Kingkiller (hence the name of the series) and Kvothe the Arcanist.  Yes, he is a wizard (of sorts), though not in a traditional fantasy sense; in fact, I do not think the word 'wizard' is ever used.  Kvothe learns magic in the course of his life, and there are two principal kinds: sympathy, which is basically a sort of arcane thermodynamics-meets-quantum mechanics, and the much more powerful but mysterious naming, which more or less involves knowing something or someone's truename, and thus gaining power over that thing or person.  The "name of the wind" refers to just such a truename.

Now the novels are not without their problems.  Kvothe's life story is far more interesting (so far) than what is happening in the present, so the portions of the novels that return to Kvothe's current situation as an innkeeper are comparatively slow (though important details and events do occur).  And much of the story deals with Kvothe trying to making ends meet, which while realistic is oftentimes trying, because you know Kvothe is and will be capable of great and terrible things, and as the reader you are waiting expectantly to see at least glimpses of these abilities.

Nonetheless, The Kingkiller Chronicle is my favorite fantasy series in recent memory, and alongside A Song of Ice and Fire, has forced me to break my previously mentioned fantasy novel rules:

1. I do not read series more than five books in length.
2. I do not read as-of-yet-unfinished series.

I highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys a classic coming-of-age tale supported by good storytelling, an interesting world (though so far we only have hints of what it all contains), and refreshing take on magic.

Best Substitute Teacher EVER

To briefly continue on the Lovecraft theme, check out H.P. Lovecraft's First Day as a Substitute Teacher at Arkham Junior High School (discovered via Akratic Wizardry).

T minus 130 Days

That is how long until A Dance with Dragons hits the bookstores. 

For those unfamiliar, A Dance with Dragons is the fifth novel in George R.R. Martin's commercially- and critically-acclaimed fantasy series A Song of Ice and Fire.  It has been over 5 years since the last novel, A Feast for Crows, was published.  A Song of Ice and Fire's popularity is largely a result of the wide cast of characters and its gritty, low fantasy realism -- major protagonists (along with antagonists) are killed off or maimed with brutal regularity.  I remember when the first main character died -- I was shocked.  Then more kept dying.  Now it is pretty much expected.

So the series is popular, it is edgy, and its fans have been waiting a long time for the next installment -- hence the noteworthiness of this announcement.  For me personally, it is also worth mentioning, because A Song of Ice and Fire is one of the few series where I violate my fantasy novel rules:

1. I do not read series more than five books in length.
2. I do not read as-of-yet-unfinished series.

Why these rules?  Four words: The Wheel of Time.

A Song of Ice and Fire is also notable because HBO will soon be premiering Game of Thrones.  The casting looks pretty darn good and given HBO's track record, I think it has a chance to be a real success.  Not to mention that HBO can give proper treatment to the violence, cursing, and sex that is so common, and frankly integral, to the novels.

Cthulhu...Gesundheit!

For those that do not know, I am a massive nerd.  Thus far, the blog has not really shown this (you probably just think I am a professor who eats a lot, which would be true), but today that changes!  Cthulhu Chick recently posted a list of awesome words from H.P. Lovecraft's complete works. She also posted a Wordle:

I learned the word 'antediluvian' because of H.P. Lovecraft.  Good times.  If you have not read any H.P. Lovecraft, or want to read more, Cthulhu Chick has also posted a free eBook of his complete works.  If you are a sci-fi or horror fan, this is seminal stuff. Cthulhu fhtagn!